Aysha Anas Iftikhar
Founder &Principal Advisor
Family Biz Solutions
A thriving family business is the result of the blood and sweat of an entrepreneur, through countless hours and innumerable weekends of focused work creating and perfecting the business model. Often, the owner immersed in the business inadvertently spends less time with the family and observes his children growing horizontally rather than vertically.
His dedication establishes the business empire which sustains the family’s lifestyle. In the entrepreneur’s mind, it is proof of the love he has for the family. After all, the business empire he has created sustains the current lifestyle but also secures it for the future. However, children accustomed to luxury often perceive it as an entitlement. Growing up in a bubble, they remain oblivious of their father’s hard work and tend to take their lifestyle for granted.
As the children grow older, the father expects them to join his business. Unbeknownst to him, the family business is perceived as an obstacle to a relationship by his children. For years, he has either complained about problems or remained absent from their lives. The family business is always the excuse for his ambivalence. His children do not want to spend their life the way he has although they would like to continue to enjoy the lifestyle the family business offers. A paradox of sorts it is!
It is unfortunate that for most fathers, the realization comes too late. If fathers want their children to succeed in business, they must prioritize investing in their relationship. It is an investment of emotions, time and effort well worth the returns.
Starting with spending time and progressing to communication, the father must be available for deeper, meaningful conversations centered around purpose and plans. Children have a subconscious need to meet expectations. If fathers and children can together create a roadmap for the future, it saves them many a heartache. Through this bonding, both parties realize shortcomings or areas of weakness that can be worked on. For instance, a child may be mentored through immersion in activities requiring the skills they lack.
A good practice to achieve this is to take the children to work after school or at weekends. Involving children in business at an early age helps them develop a sense of business acumen, enabling them to appreciate the wealth generation process. Sharing stories of successes and failures teaches them humility and imparts invaluable lessons.
Children must perceive their father as approachable. In many family businesses, children often feel alienated and disconnected, resulting in reluctance to work in the family business or to work on the sidelines. Both situations pose challenges for the continuity of the family business. The latter situation strains the relations of both parties and jeopardizes the business’s long-term success.
They become bitter with each other. Residing in their own bubble, each unwilling to try to understand the other. The father resents the child for not appreciating the business empire, while the son resents the father for being too controlling. If only they would communicate with honesty. However, achieving this is easier said than done!
Fathers of young children should invest in relationships and make time to watch their children grow. For fathers of older children, it is still not too late, to connect. Your children belong to another time. They may not articulate their fears, but they are afraid of failing in front of their hero. Be their mentor and guide, celebrate their successes and help them recover from setbacks. After all, you have been there and done that.